Gotham, Meet Deadpool
by mrgamerguy47
Summary: Everyone's favorite Merc with the Mouth visits Gotham city in some inter dimensional vacation time. Lets see how crazy we can make things, shall we. (M for good old Deadpool blood and gore)
1. Chapter 1

**Gotham Meet Deadpool**

"**Hey babies I'm MrGamerGuy47 and I've decided to do a Batman/Deadpool fanfic."**

**(Wall explodes and a man in a red jumpsuit and matching mask walks through the hole in the wall)**

"**And I'm the one and only, Deadpool!"**

_'**And I'm the stuffy voice in our head that everyone should probably listen to.'**_

_'**And I'm the insane voice that everyone shouldn't listen to but mostly do anyways.'**_

"**Who was that?"**

"**You can hear the voices in my head?"**

'_**He's the writer of course he hears us.'**_

"**Anyways, I don't own Deadpool, Batman, anyone else in this now**** let's get this started already. BRING THE NOISE!"**

**….**

**Chapter 1: Things Blow Up**

"Hey reader," said Deadpool to the screen, "it's me Deadpool. I'm here in Gotham for some dimension jumping R and R from my universe thanks to this neat little inter dimensional tellaporter that I totally did not steal from a secret government lab. Me and the author both agreed to skip the part where we describe me to you."

'_Yeah, if you don't know what we look like even after all the comics, shows, movies, and now a video game, then you probably shouldn't be here.'_

"Right, now remember this. I'm not allowed to break the fourth wall outside my head so when I'm talking directly to you like this, it's all in my head and no one else can hear me."

Deadpool stood on top of a roof top and looked out over the dirty, crime infested streets of Gotham.

'This place smells like dead bodies, piss, and all seven sins.' Deadpool thought to himself and his inner voices.

_'So you like it then.'_

'It might just grow on me; now let's see about getting a place to stay, a lot of money and some chimichangas.'

_'Okay. We're standing on top of an abandoned apartment complex, there's a street vender right in front of the building, and we're probably going to need to make a big name for ourselves before we get any work.'_

'_Oh! Are we going to blow stuff up!?'_

'Oh, hell yeah.'

Deadpool climbed down from the roof, got his chimichangas from the food vendor (who was not all that fazed by a guy in a red full body suit ordering Mexican food), and walked into the abandoned building. Deadpool found a room on the third floor that had four walls and wasn't infested with hobos. The place was complete dump just like his apartment back in his dimension so he felt right at home.

'_This place rocks in a depressing dump kind of way.'_

_'I think that's what we were going for. Now how are we going to make a name for ourselves?'_

'Names later, chimichangas now.' Deadpool thought to himself while he sat on the stained couch, pulled his mask up to his nose and began eating.

**….**

Deadpool walked down the darkest ally could find and waited for some idiots to try and jump him.

_'So how does this help us?'_

'Step one on path to fame in alternate dimension: beat up any schmuck stupid enough to mess with us. Step two: find out everything about local underworld from said schmucks. Step three: blow up a lot of stuff using the knowledge of local underworld. Step four: get rich and find a hot local chick who's into horribly disfigured guys who are still great in bed.'

'_Sounds like a plan to me.'_

Five thuggish looking guys in clown out fits and make up walked out of the shadows at the end of the ally holding automatic rifles. The leader of the group was the one in front wearing a cirques conductor's hat and painted body armor. He walked up to Deadpool with the angriest face he could pull off while wearing clown makeup.

"Who the hell are you jackass and why are you trespassing on Joker's turf." The leader said but Deadpool just looked at the group and then doubled over laughing.

"Holy crap!" Deadpool laughed, "I'm not in this city for five minutes and I get attacked by a group of heavily armed clowns!"

"Kill this assho- gah!" the leader gurgled as Deadpool cut his head clean off with his katanas. The other clowns yelled and opened fire on Deadpool who just stood there while his body was mangled by sprays of bullets. The thugs finally ran out of bullets and tried to reload but Deadpool sliced up three of them into bloody bits and slammed the last one to the ground. Deadpool dragged the clown to his feet by his throat and pressed his gun to his head.

"Alright, dumbass, you can tell me what I want to know or I could use your brains as finger paint and find a thug that will talk." Deadpool said with his most menacing voice which was made scarier by the fact that half his face was missing from a few dozen bullets and was slowly healing.

"W-What do you want to know?" the thug stuttered and Deadpool backed up a little but still had the gun aimed at the clown's head.

"I'm new in town and I need to know who the biggest players are and where they hang out."

"I work for the Joker who hides out in the theater district. There's Two-Face's gang that is holed up in the old court house and there's Black Mask who runs most of the organized crime. Then there's Penguin who runs the Iceberg Lounge where most of the other criminals meet."

"Wait I just passed that place and you guys were two blocks down saying this was your turf. You aren't lying to me now are you?" Deadpool said pressing the gun to thug's head again

"N-N-No! We were sent to take this block from Penguin. He and Joker are having a turf war."

"Alright, run along and tell everybody what happened here. And be sure to tell them my name."

"What is your name?" the thug asked

"The name's Deadpool now get out of here." Deadpool said and stated shooting at the ground next to the clown. The thug started running for his life and Deadpool shouted, "Run Forest! Run! Ha Ha Ha!"

"Oh goodie, turf wars are always good for my wallet, so many people getting killed, so many people wanting to kill other people."

_'You realize that this Joker guy is probably going to come after us.'_

'_He's got a stupid name and he makes his guys dress like clowns.'_

_'At least he doesn't call himself the Penguin.'_

"Well odds are we're going to be working for that Penguin schmuck or maybe that Two-Face guy." Deadpool said and turned to the screen, "In case any of you guys are wondering, my suit is fine after all those bullets. In this story I get a jump suit that can heal like I do so less torn spandex and more cracking skulls." Deadpool walked back to his apartment to wait for more people to and kill him and to plan out his next move.

…**.**

Two vans pulled up in front of an apartment and some heavily armed clowns poured out and moved into the building. There were maybe thirty of them and they were all heavily armed and Deadpool watched them pour in from the roof tops.

"Well took them three days but they finally found where we were." Deadpool said to himself

'_But our apartment's three blocks down, why are they attacking that building.'_

_'Maybe because we paid that hobo guy to tell the clowns we lived in that building so they would run in and we could bury them with the explosives we stole.'_

"And we robbed that gun shop yesterday so we have this sweet ass sniper rifle to go head hunting with!" Deadpool said with glee and sat down on the ledge and primed the remote trigger he was holding. He waited till most of the thugs had poured into the building before he pressed the trigger.

_**BOOM!**_

Half the building was up in flames and the other half was collapsing. He could hear the thugs inside panicking and laughed. Deadpool took a bite of the taco he was eating and took aim with the rifle. Half the clowns made it out before the building collapsed on top of them and the half that made it out were getting picked off as they tried to get inside the vans. They finally got in and one of the vans got away but Deadpool shot the second driver and the van crashed into a street light.

'_WOW! That was freaking awesome how many people we just killed!"_

"We're not done yet, my dear voices of insanity!" Deadpool said and took aim again. He aimed for where he guessed the gas tank on the van would be and fired. The van exploded sending charred, flaming body parts of the men inside all over the street. Deadpool got up and walked towards the stairs. He walked down the street with his sniper rifle and taco, enjoying the flames from the building and the burning corpses as he walked home.

"I think we made some big, fiery steps today." Deadpool said to himself happily

_'A lot of people are going to come after us for that.'_

'_Yeah, well screw them. We can just blow them up to.'_

"Well said." Deadpool smiled under his mask. He walked home and flopped down on the couch and drifted to sleep.

**….**

Deadpool woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the door. He looked at a clock he found in the street and saw that he had been sleeping for almost eighteen hours.

_'Time flies when you're lying on your ass all day.'_

'_Yah its awesome isn't it'_

Deadpool got up to grab his weapons. He waited next to the door for a second and quickly opened it and pointed his gun at a now very scared looking thug in a black ski mask and a jacket with a penguin logo on it.

"What do want?"

"Ar-Are you Deadpool?" the guy asked

"Yeah"

"The Penguin wants to see you at the Iceberg Lounge."

"Well it's about time; I've been blowing stuff up for like five days! Now let's go before you piss yourself." Deadpool said and gave the thug a shove with his gun.

…**.**

The Iceberg lounge was buzzing with customers tonight and the Penguin could feel the money jumping into his wallet as the waitresses brought alcohol to the already boozed up patrons of the club. Penguin was having a good week ever since that new guy had declared war on Joker's gang. His informants in Joker gang told him that it had started with those thugs in the ally. Joker had just thought it was funny and shot the one survivor for failing his little raid but still felt disrespected and had sent out more guys to find where this Deadpool guy was hiding. Now after five days and three failed searches, Joker's thugs had that freak cornered but had gotten barbequed. Now Penguin was sitting in his office waiting for his messenger to get back with latest nut job to set up in Gotham.

Someone knocked on the door and one of his waitresses peaked in.

"What is it!?" Penguin snapped

"Uh … they're back."

"Alright, send them up." The waitress ran off and Penguin put on his game face.

'Time to chat with another psychopath.'

**….**

Deadpool walked through the door of the Iceberg Lounge and whistled. The Lounge was three stories tall with expensive red carpets, expensive tables, fancy lighting, paintings, a big ass chandelier, and everything you could think of to give the room a classy atmosphere. There was even a miniature iceberg and moat in the middle of the room with three real little penguins swimming around in the water. The guests either didn't care or were too busy to notice a man in a red jump suit armed to the teeth with guns and swords being escorted by four meatheads in expensive suits. Deadpool walked upstairs to an office where a very short little man sat. The man was maybe four feet tall with greasy, black hair and a giant gut. He was dressed in a small tuxedo and top hat and wore a monocle on his left eye.

'_Eeeeew, that is one gross little man,'_

_'Are we really going to work with this guy?'_

'It's either work with the greasy little midget or no money for our chimichanga budget.'

Deadpool walked up to the desk and said,

"So you wanted to talk to me?"

"Are you the one who's been blowing up clowns for the past week?" Penguin asked

"Yeah"

"Then let's talk." Penguin motioned to an empty chair and Deadpool sat down, "So what do you call yourself?"

"Deadpool."

"That's it?"

"What? It's an awesome name. It's all dark and mysterious and badass."

"Whatever, now listen," Penguin leaned forward, "I got a shipment of just about every illegal thing you can think of heading to the docks but a certain hero is probably going to be there. I want you to guard the truck."

"What!?" Deadpool said a little annoyed, "That's it, no explosions, no assassinations, no gun fights, just guard a truck? I'm a pro!"

"If you're such a pro how come I've only heard of you a few days ago? This is the job and if you don't like it you can go be a pro somewhere else." Penguin snarled

"Alright," Deadpool sighed, "what's the haul?"

"I told you, guns and about every drug you can think of"

"Sounds like someone's throwin a party," Deadpool smiled under his mask, "but when is it going down?"

"Tomorrow."

"Alright now what's the pay?"

"Thirty thousand."

"No, no, no, no," Deadpool tutted, "I'll do it for forty."

"I said thirty thousand." Penguin snarled, "I don't negotiate prices. The door's right there if you don't like it."

"Please," Deadpool said unconvinced, "this a big haul and obviously a high risk since you went through the trouble of finding me. So either start bargaining or find another super powered mercenary by tomorrow night, Pengy." Deadpool chuckled as Penguin began grinding his teeth

"Thirty five."

"Thirty seven."

"Thirty five and a half and that's my final offer."

"Done," Deadpool got up, turned his back on Penguin and walked out the door.

Outside the office Deadpool could hear the sounds of something glass shattering against a wall and laughed. All the guns, explosions, girls, and Mexican food in the world couldn't top the joy he got from annoying the crap out of people.

_'Okay why does it smell like fishmongers in there?'_

_'Because that guy takes the Penguin thing way too far.'_

_'And what did he mean a 'certain hero' is going to be there?'_

_'Probably that Batman guy we've been hearing about since we got to this wacked out universe.'_

'Less fishmongers and bat people and more hitting the gun store.' Deadpool thought and walked out of the Lounge.

…**.**

"Hey Chuck!," Deadpool said walking up to the counter of the gun store he robbed two days ago, "I need some ammo and if you give it to me right now I won't start setting fires again."

"What do you need?" Chuck the cashier said looking a little paler

"Something to fit into this!" Deadpool jumped over the counter, grabbed an assault rifle of the wall and pressed it to Chuck's head

"Okay." Chuck said looking even paler and opened a cabinet. Deadpool started grabbing ammo and stuffing it into his belt pouches.

"See ya!" he said cheerily and walked out the back.

_'Wow! He looked lke he was going to piss himself back there.'_

_'Yah that gun wasn't even loaded'_

**….**

"I. Am. BORED!" Deadpool groaned as he sat on a gun crate in the back of the semi full of drugs and guns.

_'How long does it take to get to the docks anyways.'_

_'I know the answer to that but you guys won't listen to me anyways.'_

"It took you this long to figure that out." Deadpool got off the crate and began pacing as he thought about the thousand of dollars he was making right now couldn't make up for how boring it all was.

"We better get some assassination contracts after-"

BANG!

Deadpool flew foreward head first into a pile of crates that fell on top of his chest.

"Oooouuch," Deadpool weazed, "what the hell *cough* just happened?"

_'Feels like the truck hit something.'_

_'Feels like we just broke some ribs.'_

"Feels painful, that's what it feels like." Deadpool wiggled out from under the crates and waited a few minutes for his bones to heal and walked out side to see what happened.

The truck had turned into an ally way and looked like it ran into some armored black car thing. There was also some guy in a bat suit beating the living crap out of the drivers.

_'So that's Batman.'_

_'Oooo, he looks scary.'_

"Who was this shipment going to!?" Batman snarled at the only conscious thug

"It was going to-"

"Oh no you don't!" Deadpool shouted and shot the thug in the head with his assult rifle, "Don't think the boss will like that little bit of info getting out." Deadpool aimed at the Batman, "So you're Batman! I thought you would be taller. Ha Ha." Deadpool laughed

"Who are you." Batman scowled dropping the dead thug

"I am the one and only Deadpool! Now shut up and die." Deadpool fired at Batman who jumped out of the way and threw some kind of shuriken things at Deadpool. One hit him in the face and he closed his eyes for a second on reflex. Deadpool opened his eyes just in time to duck an armored fist and draw his katanas.

"What the hell was that?"

"Batarangs."

"That is a stupid name."

"So is Deadpool."

"My name is fucking awesome!" Deadpool swung at Batman with his swords but Batman blocked them with the armor on his forearms. Deadpool kept swing at Batman but he just ducked and weaved out of the way and caught Deadpool's wrist and punched him in the gut. Deadpool tried to swing with his free hand but Batman grabbed his other wrist and pulled him into a headbutt. Then Batman grabbed his katanas by the hilts and kicked him hard in the chest knocking Deadpool on his back but Deadpool rolled backwards, got his hands underneath him and sprung to his feet and drew his pistols. Deadpool fired and Batman dropped Deadpool's swords and threw down a smoke pellet. Deadpool shot into the smoke and threw a grenade and ducked behind the side of the truck as it went off. Deadpool sprung out of cover and aimed where Batman was but he was gone. Deadpool looked around and waited but he had disappeared. He put away one of his guns and moved to pick up his swords but felt a shadow on him. Deadpool looked up just in time for a heavy boot to smack into his face, knocking him down again. Deadpool's gun was knocked out of his hand and Batman grabbed him by the neck, throwing him against the front of the truck. Deadpool drew his other gun but Batman knocked that out of his hand too and swung at his head. Deadpool blocked the punch and caught Batman with a right hook to the face. Then he grabbed his shoulders and kneed him in the stomach and smashed his head on the hood of the truck. Batman recovered quickly and caught Deadpool with a back hand to the face. Deadpool jumped back and the two glared at each other. Then Deadpool started laughing.

"Look at you all dark and serious." Deadpool laughed, "What's the matter? You got a pole shoved up your bat cave? You need to smile more."

"I am smiling, this is my happy face." Batman said still glaring

"Oh so you're telling the jokes now. All right then funny man." Deadpool grabbed his swords off the ground and activated his telaporter. Deadpool vanished and appeared on the roofs and shouted, "Catch me if you can jackass!"

Batman pulled out his grappling hook and swung up to the roof and chased after Deadpool. They ran across the roofs and jumped over ally ways until Deadpool dove through a warehouse skyight and Batman jumped in after him but Deadpool had disappeared.

Batman waited and listened but the room was completely quiet so he switched his cowl over to night vision. Batman scanned the room looking for Deadpool but then all the lights in the warehouse went on at once, blinding Batman. Batman staggered, covering his burning eyes and switched back to regular vision. Deadpool came at Batman from behind with one of his swords drawn and tried to stab Batman through the back but Batman spun around, deflecting the blow and disarmed Deadpool. Deadpool's sword clattered to the ground and Baman caught Deadpool in the face with an upper cut causing him to stager back. Batman picked up the sword as Deadpool drew his second one and the two clashed. Deadpool hacked and slashed while Batman blocked each blow but was being pushed back. Knowing he needed to turn the fight around, Batman parried a swing at his neck and delivered a spinning back kick to Deadpool's head. The merc stagered and Batman pointed the tip of his sword to Deadpool's neck.

"Surrender!" Batman shouted but Deadpool just laughed

"Or what? Are you going to kill me?" Deadpool mocked

"You never know."

"Well then there is one thing you should know," Deadpool lunged foreward. The tip of the sword sliced into his throat as he drove his own sword through Batman's shoulder, "I'm can't die." Deadpool gurgled

Batman growled in pain and pulled the sword free, staggering back as he held his shoulder. Deadpool laughed again and lunged foreward but Batman dodged and they clashed swords again. Batman pushed Deadpool back to the wall even though his shoulder was bleeding heavily. Batman parried a blow ,grabbed Deadpool and smashed his head against an open ciruit box.

A burst of electricity arched into Deadpool's brian and Batman pinned him to the wall with the sword at his throat.

"So how is that shoulder?" Deadpool mocked holding his sword out to his side

"It's over, drop it!"

"Not done yet." Deadpool said in a sing song voice

Deadpool grabbed Batman by the throat and drove his sword into the circuit box to his right. Elctricity surged through the sword, thorugh Deadpool and into Batman. They both grunted in pain as every muscel in their bodies contracted, neither one able to let go. The circuit box exploded in a shower of sparks and they both collapsed. Deadpool who had taken most of the shock wasn't moving and lay in a smoking heap and Batman struggled to sit up as his shoulder was still bleeding. Then, Deadpool stired as his healing factor took effect and he got up to stand over the Dark Knight.

_'Are we going to kill him now?'_

_'We could just do it and get this over with.'_

'Think about it. Are we being payed enough to kill a super hero?'

_'Wow that is actually a really good point coming from_ you.'

Deadpool pushed Batman onto his back with his foot and crouched down.

"Looks like I win Bats."

"i'm...going..."

"A little louder lamb chop." Deadpool whispered

"I'll find you." Batman growled

"You do that and be glad I'm not being payed enough to kill you." Deadpool stood and stomped Batman in the head. Batman went limp as he passed out.

_'So what now?'_

_'We should probably get that truck to the drop off so we can get paid.'_

_'Eeeewww, that sounds like work!'_

**...**

Batman slowly regained consciousness and his entire body ached. He groaned and slowly opened his eyes and saw that he was back at Wayne Manor and he was out of his suit with Alfred standing over him as he lay on his bed. His shoulder was bandaged and was still throbbing.

"Rough night master Bruce?" The butler said in his usual monotone

"Alfred, there's a new...ugh." Bruce groaned as he tried to sit up

"I know, I went to retrieve you when the suits vitals dropped and while you were recovering I reviewed the video footage from the cowl. This Deadpool character seems to have given you quite the thrashing." Alfred made him sit back and readjusted Bruce's bandages

"How long have I been out?"

"Just over fourteen hours."

"I need to find that maniac." Bruce tried to push himself up again

"You are in no condition to go after any one master Bruce. I will search for any information on this Deadpool but only if you lie back down and rest."

"Fine." Bruce grumbled as Alfred walked towards the door

"Besides, it's almost three in the afternoon. Bats don't fly in the day master Bruce." Alfred said as he closed the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Gotham Meet Deadpool**

**I'm back with more Deadpool and Batman enough said. Enjoy!**

**...**

**Chapter 2: New Friends**

Bruce Wayne woke to the sound of of a knock on his bedroom door.

"Who is it?" Bruce groaned and rubbed his eyes

"It's Alfred, sir." the butler said with his usual professional demeanor, "May I come in?"

"Fine." Bruce said as the door opened, "What time is it?"

"Three in the afternoon, sir, twelve hours since you last awoke."

"Did you find anything on Deadpool?" Bruce asked

"No, sir. It's strange but there is nothing on this Deadpool character in any database in Gotham. I also couldn't find anything on him in the national criminal archives either. There is just nothing to find, sir." Alfred said sounding confused as Bruce frowned

"In that case there are two possibilities: Deadpool has been operating in some foreign country until now or he's found a way to cover his tracks better than any criminal I've seen."

"How will you find him then?"

"He was guarding one of Penguin's shipments so he must know something about Deadpool."

"Might I make a suggestion, sir?"

"What is it?"

"I reviewed the footage from your cowl and I noticed that Deadpool claimed to be immortal and I can only think of one person we know of that has achieved immortality."

"Ra's Al Ghoul." Bruce finished for him with a scowl at the mention of the head of the League of Shadows

"Indeed, sir, it may be a long shot but Ra's may know something of Deadpool."

"I'll look into it tonight." Bruce said but Alfred looked at him disapprovingly

"Master Bruce, it has been only two days since you were stabbed through the shoulder by a katana sword. You are not going anywhere for the next few days while that shoulder heals. I have already informed all of your daytime appointments that you have been bedridden for awhile." Alfred scolded and turned to leave. Bruce said nothing as he knew that it was impossible to change the butler's mind at this point.

"Oh, and I almost forgot," Alfred said at the door, "Master Grayson is here to check on you."

"Send him up." Bruce waited as Alfred left to get his friend and student, Dick Grayson, also known as Nightwing

The door opened again and Dick walked in wearing his biker jacket, sun glasses, and jeans. The young man who used to be the first Robin was now almost a full grown man.

"What are doing here?" Bruce asked

"Nice to see you too, Bruce." Dick said in his normal sarcastic voice, "So who managed to bedridden the Dark Knight? Bane? Mr. Freeze?"

"A new criminal named Deadpool."

"Oh boy, another one." Dick mumbled and took a seat in a chair, "Well I can already tell that you need me to look into it so tell me about him."

"Fine," Bruce sighed and starts telling Dick everything that happened.

**...**

"Hey!" Deadpool shouts at the screen, "Where did you guys go!? This stories supposed to be about me. My name is in the freaking title."

_'You realize that there are going to be more scene transitions, right?'_

"Fucking wonderful." Deadpool pouted and looked at the back door of the Ice Berg Lounge. He was on his way to pick up his payment for that job a few nights ago with the truck and the ninja bat guy. Deadpool knocked on the door and a thuggish looking gut in a really expensive suit opened the door.

"One mercenary extraordinaire to see the proprietor of this fine establishment." Deadpool said in a kind of snobby southern drawl.

"Come in, sir." the thug said with a small scowl.

"Thanks, but," Deadpool grabbed the thug by the front of his suit and pressed one of his swords to his throat, "keep glaring at me like that and I'll cut your eyes out of your skull. Okay bye bye now!" Deadpool said a lot more cheerily and walked down the dark hallway leaving a very pale thug behind him.

_'And just like that, another thug craps himself.'_

'No story is complete with out someone losing control of their bowls' Deadpool thought and turned a corner where another guard standing next to a red rope stopped him.

"Name, please."

"Batman... nah just kidding, Deadpool."

"One minute." said the guard and pulled out a walkie talkie, "It's me... yeah got a guy named Deadpool here...okay. He'll be ready for you in a minute."

_'Waiting? I thought this was an action story!'_

'Yeah well we could just - Holy Shit!' Deadpool's thoughts were cut off by the sight of a smoking hot blonde woman walking towards him. She had brown eyes, her hair cut short, and wore a tight black and white stripped business suit that came down to barley mid thighs and was unbuttoned enough to show off a lot of chest. she also wore fish net stockings and stiletto heels. She walked with sway in her shapely hips and had a fem fatal atmosphere about her.

"Mr. Coblepott will see you now." she said in an extremely thick, almost obnoxious British accent.

_'Holy crap!'_

_'Won't lie, I'm kind of turned on right now.'_

"Woah, and he sent you to get me huh."

"Follow me, sir," the blonde said, and turned to lead Deadpool to Penguin, "Oi and get your eyeballs of me arse, you lout!"

"Not if you paid me, sweetheart. Ha!" Deadpool laughed and noticed her smirk a tiny bit. They walked up the red carpeted stairs with Deadpool's eyes still glued to the blonde's backside. "So what's your name anyways?"

"What's it to you, aye?"

"Come on! We kinda, sorta work together temporarily. I like to know my co-workers."

_'Yah, but only the hot_ _ones.'_

"Name's Tracey." she said after a moment of silence

"Hot name."

"Thanks but again, keep your peepers off me arse or I'll bust your ugly mug." she said smirking

"Ugly mug, huh?" Deadpool said rubbing his chin through the mask and then smiling, "Sweetheart, you have no idea!"

"Mr. Cobblepot will see you now." Tracey said looking a little confused stopping at the same expensive looking door Deadpool saw on his first visit.

Deadpool walked in and inside was the same greasy little man in the expensive suit with a bird fetish. But this time sitting on the desk was another smoking hot secretary woman. She wore the same tiny dress, fishnets, and stiletto heels as Tracey but this woman had dark skin, black hair, wore a pair of intellectual looking glasses, and was holding a black suite case.

"Must say I'm impressed," Penguin said, "you aren't as useless as you seem. You got the truck to the drop off and my bank account is already up a few hundred thousand."

"I know, I'm awesome."

"Yes and you want to know how I learned all this?"

"Uh, sure." Deadpool answered a little suspicious

"Well I heard it from my boys. You know the guys I sent on the job with you. THE ONES YOU DIDN'T KILL, THAT IS!" Penguin shouted

"Oh come on, it was just one guy."

"He was one of my best lieutenants!"

"He was about to spill his guts to the Batman so I decided to spill his brains." Deadpool countered making a finger gun motion and Penguin paused his rant

"Alright I'll let that one slide this one time but you ever kill one of my guys with out my permission I will skin you alive."

_'Wouldn't be the first time.'_

"Great, now where's my money?" Deadpool said suddenly sounding very bored

"Candy." Penguin said to the secretary lady and stood up

"Candy? Seriously?"

"Aw, don't like my name babe?" Candy said pouting and acting hurt, "Now you've hurt my feelings."

"Is that why your giving me a briefcase full of money." Deadpool opened the case, "Impressive... and that's a lot of money too." Deadpool said looking away from Candy's chest as she bent over to hand him the briefcase and looked inside the case full of hundred dollar bills.

"Ahem." Said Penguin looking irritated again. Candy walked over and stood by his side again. "You can show yourself out." he said as he and Candy started walked out with Penguin's hand resting on the curve of Candy's ass.

"I can and congrats on finding a woman willing to touch you, Birdie." Deadpool shouted as the door slammed leaving him alone in the office.

_'So what do we do__ now'_

"Well you can't just walk into a bank and deposit a few thousand dollars in cash wearing a red and black jump suit and mask. We need a money broker and I need someone to buy information and guns so were also going to need a information dealer and gun broker."

_'Like our buddy Weasel back home.'_

"Yep."

_'So how do we find these guys.'_

"Got an idea." Deadpool grabbed the case and walked out of the office. He walked down the stairs to the main lounge and found the person he was looking for. "Hey hot stuff," he shouted to Tracey, "I got to talk to you."

"Before you ask, no I don't date thugs." the Brit said in her heavy (and sexy) accent

"Does that include the short, black and white bird man upstairs?" Deadpool smirked under his mask

"Oi, shut it! Now whatcha want?"

"You tied to my bed," Deadpool laughed hysterically and dodged a slap, "No, seriously I need your help with a little something."

"What is it." Tracey asked hesitantly

"I need a good money broker, information dealer, and gun broker. Know any guys?" Deadpool said and Tracey simply eyed him for a few moments thinking it over.

"Even if I know some names I aint giving out the goods for free. Give me one good reason to help you." she finally said with a smirk putting her right hand on her hip.

_'Giggity!'_

_'Hey, don't say that! It's copy righted.'_

_'Blame the author!'_

"I got a two thousand reasons right here, sweetheart." Deadpool said patting the brief case

"Make it five thousand."

"Three thousand."

"Four thousand."

"Highest I'll go is thirty-five hundred."

"Fine, come over here and lets get comfortable." she smirked again, walking towards one of the darker booths in the back of the lounge.

_'Woof.'_

_'Careful that might be copy righted too.'_

Deadpool sat down in the expensive leather seats of the booth across from Tracy and she began listing names and addresses. The money broker was a man who went by the name Micheal. No last name and has never been caught. He's employed by different drug dealers, mobsters, super villains, and any other criminal with a lot of money to move quietly. The gun dealer was a man named Jackie Norman, he smuggles any weapon for anyone who needs it. In fact, he provided a lot of the guns in the shipment from Deadpool's last job. As for the information broker, apparently he had two choices. Either some villain named the Riddler, he'd have to look him up either way if he was a villain, who almost every big time criminal went to for info or to get a leg up on their competition or he could go with a guy named Dorian Phillips. Dorian, while not as connected as the Riddler, boasted a very wide network of secrets and information gathering and was apparently a million times easier to deal with than the Riddler.

"All right," Tracey said handing a torn of piece of the menu with all the information on it, "I held up my end."

"Here you go and for gods sake don't spend it all on one pair of shoes." Deadpool counted out thirty five hundred dollars and handed it to her

"No promises." Tracey said with a smile, took the stack of money and slid it in between her cleavage.

"Wow, impressive," Deadpool said watching with great interest before they both got up, "with that dress I didn't think you'd have any more room in there."

"You pig." Tracey said with a smile and leaned forward, giving Deadpool a kiss on his masked cheek before she walked away with what seemed like an extra sway in her hips.

"I don't know about you readers, but I count that as a score!" Deadpool said to the screen and walked out of the lounge.

**...**

Nightwing looked down from the roof tops at the Iceberg Lounge through his optical zoom lenses of his mask. He was dressed in his black and blue armored jump suit and his domino black mask that covered only his eyes. Around his waist was his usual utility belt and strapped to his back was his matching stun batons. All entrances were being watched so Nightwing grappled onto the roof of the lounge looking for a way in and found a vent he could fit through. Nightwing grabbed onto one corner of the vent and pulled. The bolt holding the vent to the wall popped out and he took out one of his batons and slid it into the opening and used it as leverage to pry the rest of the vent off.

_You would think that after all the break-ins they would put security systems in these vents. _Night wing thought to himself.

Nightwing came to a vent opening that over looked the second floor hallway. Nightwing pressed his foot to the vent cover and pressed until he heard a pop. Holding on to the vent cover so it wouldn't fall he then took out one of his batons again and pried the rest of the vent off. Nightwing silently dropped to the floor and walked down the hall. He left the vent cover on the ground but he wouldn't be here long so it didn't matter.

He found the door to Penguin's office and listened.

"Anything else for tonight, Candy?" said a voice he recognized as the Penguin's

"Nope we're done for tonight." said a female voice who was probably Candy

Nightwing didn't hear anyone else so he knocked on the door.

"Oh bloody hell! Who is it now!" the Penguin shouted

Nightwing took a step back then throwing his weight forward he kicked the door in. The wood splintered as the lock was busted off and Nightwing stepped into the room to see a very surprised Penguin and his secretary. Penguin was standing in front of the desk with his suit and top hat and looked like he was just about to leave. Penguin raised his umbrella that had a hidden gun built in and aimed at Nightwings head but Nightwing was faster and threw one of his bird styled shurikens. The umbrella was knocked from Penguin's hands and Nightwing grabbed the short little man by the neck lifting him of the ground.

"Wait! Hold on a-" Penguin tried to say but Nightwing lifted him above his head and threw him across the desk knocking over papers and the expensive office chair.

"Stay right where you are." Nightwing said to Candy making his voice extra deep and intimidating. Nightwing walked up to the Penguin who was trying to get up but Nightwing grabbed him again and slammed him against the desk holding him down. Nightwing took out one of his stun batons and held it inches way Penguin's face as it crackled and sparked with electricity.

"What the hell do you want?" Penguin wheezed

"The mercenary Deadpool, I know you hired him! Now where is he!" Nightwing shouted

"Alright! He lives in some rat hole apartment on twenty fifth street but I don't know anything besides that. No name, no face, no nothing!"

"Which apartment!?" Nightwing growled and turned the baton up

"The one on the corner of twenty fifth...and...Marlow." Penguin coughed

"Thanks now you get to take a nap." Nightwing jabbed the end of baton into Penguin's forehead. His body spasmed and then went limp as he fell unconscious.

"Don't even think about it." Nightwing said to Candy who was reaching behind a filing cabinet for something. Nightwing began walking towards her

"Stay back!" She shouted and swung a wooden baseball bat at him. Nightwing easily grabbed the bat and shoved her away from him. Nightwing held both ends of the bat and snapped it in half. He threw the two halves across the room then he left without saying anything else.

**...**

Nightwing ran across the roof tops towards the apartment. He was going to catch this psychopath and make him pay. The guy shot a man in cold blood and stabbed Bruce through the shoulder. The first reason was reason enough but the second. Bruce was like a father to him after what happened to his parents. They both lost family to crime and that made them family and that asshole almost killed Bruce. Almost killed what little family he had left. And no one fucks with his family and gets to walk away. Nightwing clenched his teeth and ran faster. He grappled up to a tall building and saw the apartment he was looking for. His eyes widened in surprise.

The entire building was a smoldering pile of ashes. Firemen and police surrounded the area and firetrucks sprayed water on the still smoking foundations. Nightwing swung down and walked up to a fireman.

"What happened here?" Nightwing asked

"Whole building went up about an hour ago. We just managed to put it out." the fireman said

"Everyone all right?"

"Yah, the building was empty when it went up. Probably some squatters playing with matches. If there was anyone in there they got out."

_Deadpool,_ Nightwing thought to himself, _he must of started the fire to cover his tracks. He knew Penguin would talk if me or Bruce got to him. This trail is cold so that leaves only one lead. I should report what I have to Bruce so we can plan our next move._

"Thanks." Nightwing said to the fireman and grappled up to the roofs. Nightwing pressed two finger to his ear, opening a channel back to the Bat Cave.

"Did you find anything." said a voice on the other end of the channel but it wasn't Alfred's

"You should be in bed."

"Alfred and I agreed that I can get plenty of rest and help you from here." said Bruce

"Really, he agreed to that?" Nightwing asked knowing well enough that the butler wouldn't want him anywhere near the cave.

"Did you find anything?" Bruce repeated

"All I got out of Penguin was an address so I followed it but Deadpool burnt the building down to cover his tracks. That leaves us with only one lead, it's a long shot but I could-"

"No!" Bruce cut him off, "There is no way you are going to see him without me there."

"But Ra' al Ghoul is-"

"Ra' al Ghoul will have you killed on sight! He tolerates me because of our history but he has no patience for anyone else."

"Fine, what do you want me to do?"

"The trail is cold on this case. We will have to wait for Deadpool to make a mistake. For now just go on patrol."

"Alright." Nightwing cut the line and jumped off the roof.

**...**

"Ahhhh, nothing like a little arson to wake you up at three in the morning." Deadpool said to himself. He stood outside of the apartment building of his first contact. Micheal lived in a decent enough neighborhood (if you ignored the stink of dozens of people crammed into a few blocks and the distant sirens that went off like clock work.)

_'So how are we going to get inside. We can't just walk in the front door.'_

_'Hasn't stopped us before.'_

"Relax I got a plan." Deadpool started climbing up a fire escape on the side of the building, "Fire escapes, making it easier for people to break in since 1968."

_'You just made that up didn't you.'_

"Can't talk, climbing!" Deadpool stopped at the fifth floor window and peaked inside. The room was empty and he didn't hear anyone. The room looked like someone's bedroom, a woman's judging by the clothes thrown on the the bed were elaborate and expensive sheets and pillows that were probably silk, and the top of dresser was what could only be described as a shit ton of jewelry. Deadpool knocked on the window and when no one came he opened the window and climbed in.

_'How does breaking into some random person's home help us?"_

"That Micheal guy lives on this floor. I'm just passing through." Deadpool whispered. He was about to walk into the living room when he heard the front door open. "Shit." Deadpool mumbled and quickly climbed back out the window and closed it. He pressed him self against the wall as he heard the bedroom door open. Deadpool peaked in to see a very hot woman walk in. She was wearing a t-shirt that went down to her knees but didn't seem to be wearing pants, had short black hair and a great body.

_'Any ideas?'_

'Just a really stupid one.' Deadpool leaned against the wall and knocked on the window. He crossed his arms and waited. The window opened after a moment and the woman lead out and raised an eyebrow at the site of Deadpool.

"Before you try and hit me with that baseball bat you're hiding behind your back." The woman swung at him and he caught her wrist and twisted, forcing her to drop the bat, "Nice swing, heh heh. Listen I just need to drop in on a guy who lives on this floor."

"And you decided to break into my house on the way in? At three in the morning?" She scowled. Deadpool noticed her bright green eyes.

"Does it look like I use the front door?"

"You could have used the roof." Deadpool looked up and frowned a little

"Whoops" Deadpool shrugged and let go of her arm, "Well I already went this far so can I come in for a second or do I have to shoot you?" he said sounding dead serious.

"Fine." the woman sighed

"Great!" Deadpool jumped threw the window sounding a lot more cheery, "Nice place you got here. Silk sheets, expensive furniture, dirty panties everywhere." Deadpool chuckled

"You know I can still call the police."

"Yeah and they could have a field day figuring out where you stole all those." Deadpool gestured towards the jewelry on the dresser

"I didn't steal anything!" she said but Deadpool crossed his arms and gave her an 'Oh really' look as best he could through his mask, "Okay fine you got me now get the hell out of my home."

"I'm going. I'm going" Deadpool walked into the living room and froze.

_'Holy shit.'_

_'Why would someone do this'_

"What. The. Fuck." Deadpool said as his jaw dropped. The room was filled with at least a dozen cats of different breeds all climbing on stuff and mewing and doing various cat things.

"What? I like cats, okay."

"Okay sure but... look at this place. There's enough cats to open a small petting zoo. Dear god, this is weird even by my standards." Deadpool walked to the front door and opened it. A few cats ran in between his feet. "Well this is good-bye hot, crazy cat lady." Deadpool winked at her and closed the door.

_'That was freaky'_

"Yep but on to the really break-ins." Deadpool said as he came to the room number he was looking for. Deadpool looked up and spotted a tiny little security camera mounted on the door frame. Not even bothering to knock he kicked in the door. The room was empty so Deadpool walking into the bedroom and saw a guy trying to climb out the window. Deadpool rushed over and grabbed the guy by the ankle and pulled him back in side. Deadpool pinned him to the wall, drew one of his katanas and pressed it to his throat.

"Whoever you are I didn't do anything." He said. The guy had brown hair and was a little thin. He wore a button up striped blue shirt and khakis. He looked like a normal boring guy who belonged in an office pushing papers. Deadpool looked over at the bed and saw an open laptop so he must have been watching him.

"Names Deadpool and is that why you need a spy camera outside your door, Micheal?" Deadpool growled

"That's not my-"

"Cut the crap I know it's you and don't worry, I don't care what it is that you've done before. All I care is what you're about to do for me."

"What do you need, exactly?" Micheal said glancing down at the sword at his throat

"Your going to set up a few accounts for me and move a couple thousand dollars while your at it."

"Okay I'll get right on it."

"Fantastic!" Deadpool said suddenly sounding cheery again and letting go of Micheal, "There's a case of money in the alley hidden behind a pile of old wood."

"I charge a 3% fee on all transactions." Micheal said nervously sounding a little rattled

"Fine." Deadpool turned to leave but Micheal stopped him

"Wait!" he said and started searching through a drawer on his night stand and pulled out a smart phone, "This is a custom built phone, it can't be traced. I'll contact you once the money's been moved."

"Great, now go get my money." Micheal moved past Deadpool towards the door, "Run!" Deadpool barked and drew one his pistols sending Micheal scurrying. Deadpool chuckled and put the gun away and slipped the phone into one of his belt pouches, "See you around, Mikey."

_'Well was awesome.'_

"You know it! Now time to go find a new apartment and a clerk who won't ask to many questions."

_'What about the other guys on our list.'_

"I'll get to them tomorrow night. But right now I feel like a late night fiesta!" Deadpool laughs to himself as he walks out of the apartment.

**...**

**So who can guess who that woman in the apartment was? Also Penguin's two secretary's Tracey and Candy (Hot!) were from Batman: Arkham Origins and I don't own them or any other DC or Marvel characters in this. Hope you enjoyed.**


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